You may want to call me a pessimist, but you’re wrong. I’m so much a positive thinker that most of the time people around me have a hard time understand.
I know not many read this, my real life friends and following is not privy to this diary of the Homeless Chick. I see a few people have read them and I’m not sure you can comment here but if you can and want too please do! Or if you want to email me please do. We aren’t meant to live this life alone. As long as you don’t add to my stress you are welcome in my life 🙂
A Forward to the ‘Good News’
I feel like what is the use in thinking negatively about most things? That doesn’t mean I am unrealistic! I had a cold Christmas where my ex-husband refused to allow my children to even speak to me. He said I was a worthless low-life piece of shit and that all three of my children (speaking of our two and my youngest son which isn’t his) would be better off if I was dead – what sparked the latest brutal emotional psychological attack on me and my children?? A DCFS worker that called my ex-husband to tell him I am being investigated for child neglect. The DCFS worker failed to mention that I was being investigated for taking my trash out to the dumpster on the property I rent while my son was safely in his crib sleeping and I had a baby monitor. The DCFS worker was concerned with an agenda her buddy and co-worker Jan asked me to fulfill (Jan is a woman that works for DCFS and for the DV program in which I live in & has beef with me) .
Instead I spent a Christmas throwing up and crying and being deprived of even hearing my children’s voices.
Jan is going to lose her job(s). It’s a little sing song to ward off the unhealthy anger without outlet that creeps up.
The ‘Good News’
Yesterday I was contacted by an agency that is willing to have an attorney advocate for me free of charge with the DCFS matter. This agency ‘aims to stop DCFS from using invalidated rules to “indicate” parents who are poor, single, a teenager or immigrant, a victim of abuse themselves, or suffer from a treatable mental health conditions.’
I am rich with love but otherwise poor at the moment in the wallet (LOL) – homeless to get technical, I have been through domestic abuse, I am single, and I have Attention Deficit Disorder which the state doesn’t recognize as a mental health classification or even pays cost of medication for. However; Because I was truthful with the investigator and told her I see a psychiatrist for my medication DCFS wrote it down under mental health disorder. I am the current poster child for DCFS prey.
So thankfully there is a group of people fighting these Parent Predators. I do believe in a child welfare system. I don’t believe in preying on poor, single, young, immigrants, victims or the mentally ill.
That is what DCFS does in this state on a regular basis. You say that can not be!! You ask Why???
Many reasons but I will break it down. I’ll cut out the politics and big words. Instead I’ll invite your reasoning and logic to understand.
Logical motive – if only ‘actual’ neglect or abuse cases were found indicated (meaning it ACTUALLY FACTUALLY occurred), thousands of DCFS employees would lose their jobs.
For instance; If a DCFS investigator takes a single mother who is being or has been abused by a partner or family memeber, is too poor for legal help, has a lack of substantial support and the investigator uses pressure and threats against her – the investigator knows the mother probably won’t have the knowledge, confidence, strength or support to fight an indicated report of neglect or abuse – even if no ACTUAL OR FACTUAL harm or real risk of harm occurred to the child. An investigator can take 60 plus days to investigate allegations, trump up a nice twisted sounding case and a case manager can take years to manage her case. Both the investigator and case manager have made an investment for their job security! Logic. There are other more difficult reasons but that one I stated is enough especially in this economy.
After the emotional beating I have been through with the investigator and my ex-husband these past two weeks, I can barely think straight. If I do think too straight I begin throwing up from the emotional pain! My therapist said I’m mentally intact and that is just my bodies way of coping with extremely painful emotions.
I have been through an investigation with a MUCH nicer investigator once before, and as a result of their being no harm or risk of harm to my child and probably the main reason is because I had an attorney at the time for the DV who advocated for me during the investigation, it was unfounded. (this again was while I was in shelter, myself and almost every girl was investigated be DCFS for one reason or another – DCFS preys on poor remember?? oohh and shelters get sideline kick backs if DCFS becomes involved!!)
I can’t imagine trying to navigate such a lawless acting entity on my own. So here it is folks I am loved and favored by my Lord because he never leaves me without an extended hand. The good neew that pisses me off to even call it news is this agency is my extended hand. Those simple words of ‘congratulations we have discussed your case and we would like to offer you legal advocacy in hopes we can bring your case unfounded.’ meant the world to me. I am grateful!
I miss my two beautiful children so much it is killing me. Sometimes I wonder if I will make it through this alive the pain inside is so bad. Now my battle which was to begin Pro-Se in January must be put off pending results of this DCFS investigation. None of this will ever be okay, it has been so long. After all of the damage DCFS is doing I will HAVE to have an attorney in order to even see my children again.
I did nothing wrong to have me so forced out of their lives (there is no past abuse or neglect or even any alligations of) The court sure treated me as if I had abused or neglected my children. They did this because I refused to give the court my new address after moving as a result of the court refusing to keep my address from my ex-husband because he was giving all the information he could to my abuser to help him find me so he could continue his abuse. I was pregnant when my ex-husband took me into to court for full placement of the children, and as my health declined and I was forced to hide to stay safe the dimmer my chances with my two children I stayed home and raised in perfection became. My ex-husband and my actions (justified as I know them to be) still painted a shady picture of unstable. In reality as I became hospitalized and having already lost my business because of strict bed-rest which began very early in my pregnancy due to preclampsia and then losing a place to live and being poverty stricken what felt like over night I wasn’t terribly stable. The court refused me visitation without their having an address for me and my ex-husband refused to allow me to see them unless I came into his home where he accuses me of whatever he wants too.
I am proud of how strong I am. I am proud I have learned from my mistakes so I hope to God I don’t make them again and most of all I am proud of how much I have grown in the last years. I feel better about myself homeless than I did all of the years I pretended to be perfect.
Pt. 2 of ‘Good News? I’m Pissed Off That I Have To Even Announce This As News’ is coming in a squeal when I announce DCFS is unfounded.. Ugh til then bear with me… Raising my children, working three jobs, going to school, and through a divorce was FAR easier than being homeless. Being homeless at times is a full-time job on it’s own.